I Could Divorce Him I Really Could
by elsiecarson
Summary: Marie and Frank are fighting again and Marie comes over to talk to Ray. They have a very serious conversation about relationships and Marie and Frank get serious about their relationship. Speculation about Marie and Frank's past.
1. Chapter 1

Marie rushes into Raymond's house and slams the front door closed. "Your father is driving me crazy!" she cries as she flops on the sofa.

"Oh my God, what now, ma? Dad's always driven the entire family crazy and he especially loves driving you crazy. This is nothing new. The day you stop complaining about dad then I'll be surprised." Ray says hostilely.

"You don't care about my feelings, Raymond. You resent me greatly. I can't talk to you. You're just like your father that way." Marie says huffily.

"I do care ma, really, but I've heard it all before. Dad has been doing the same things for years. He's not going to change. I guess it's just you hoping he'll change because you love him so much." Ray says logically.

"Is it really too much to ask that he change a little? He's been driving the entire family crazy forever. He never gives anything back to the people who care about him and he never has. There's only so much I can give him without getting anything back from him. He seems to think the way he lives is just fine. I can't stand it anymore. Maybe I should just divorce him. It would serve him right." Marie says angrily. Frank frustrates her to no end. She can't understand how he can treat someone he says he loves this way.

"But, ma, what you're forgetting is that you and dad are soul mates. You're meant to be together. When things are going well in your relationship, it's almost disgusting how sweet you are to each other. When we were in Italy, I was shocked at how nice he was being to you. It's behaviour I don't see very often, but I like to see it. The things he was saying are exactly what he should be saying, but maybe there's a reason he doesn't. Now, granted, he's not always like that, but at least you know that that ability is there in him. Sometimes I wonder if Debra has that ability in her. Don't lose sight of that; it's so important in a relationship. He loves you. I know he doesn't tell you that very often, but I can tell that he does. He can't sleep when you're not in the house. The night you left and stayed over here how quickly was he over here asking you to come home? He talks about you all the time. Even if it's all in jest, at least he talks about you. He still teases you, even Debra and I stopped teasing each other years ago. I'll bet he even has a sweet nickname for you when you're alone together." Ray says trying to help his mom.

Marie frowns for a moment. "Well, yes, he does have a nickname for me, but don't a lot of those things sound like we're just too comfortable together? Maybe we're together too often. I loved our time in Italy together, I really did, but Frank's behaviour shocked me. I didn't think he could still be that way with me. I thought he was bored with me honestly. He says that he is all the time."

"Maybe you and dad just spend more time together now because dad's retired and he has more time to spend at home with you to do the things he wants to do. I think you underestimate him, ma. I know he's frustrating, trust me, but he's perfectly capable of being just who you want him to be, if you give him the chance and stop nagging him." Ray explains gently. His mother doesn't take well to criticism. "You and dad seem to have a really solid relationship and besides, most Italian marriages are based on the bickering the two of you have going on already. That takes years of development."


	2. Get Out Ray!

"Marie?" Frank whispers as he opens the front door. He never knocks and he knows Marie's here because she can always vent to her kids or her daughter-in-law. "Are you ever coming home?" He hates being home by himself. It makes him nervous.

"I haven't decided yet, Frank. You made me very angry. You don't understand how angry you make people sometimes. You're selfish, Frank, and sometimes I just need to get away from you so I don't say something I'll regret. I try not to ever say things I don't really mean." Marie says glaring at him.

"Ray, go away for awhile." Frank demands.

"Why should I? This is my house!" Ray says strongly.

"Because you don't want to know what we were arguing about over there, trust me. Besides, your mother wouldn't be very comfortable discussing this in front of you either. Here's twenty bucks go do something with it. Don't spend it all in one place." Frank says firmly.

"All right, dad, I'm gone. Ma, remember what I said. This is important." Ray says as he picks up his keys and goes out the garage door.


	3. Tell Me the Truth, Talk to Me

"All right, Marie, what has to change for you to come home? I know I was a jerk, but I need some guidelines here." Frank says as he slumps into his favourite chair at Ray's. He hates these kinds of conversations. They make his skin crawl.

Marie sits on the very edge of one of the couch cushions. "I just need to feel like you're still invested in this relationship, Frank. Half the time I feel like it's just me that's still trying to make this work because you happen to think that everything is working just fine. I don't care how often we have sex. That's not important. What's important is that I know that you love me enough to put the work in and I don't feel that way now. I just want you to kiss me, or hug me, or touch me without any expectations of anything later."

"That's not natural for me, Marie. You know me better than anyone and I love that you do, but you should know by now that I'm not a natural expresser of my emotions. I never have been. I do love you. I always have and I always will, but I still struggle with expressing things like that. I need you to understand that I couldn't do without you even though I don't always tell you that." Frank says as he stands up and moves over to sit next to Marie.

"Can I ask you something, Frank?" Marie asks slowly. She doesn't always like to ask him questions. Frank nods his head. "Did you ever think when we got married all those years ago that we'd make it this far?"

"I think when we got married we were both scared. We didn't know what the future would bring and I think that we both hoped things would work out between us. I loved you and I would have married you, but I think we both would have preferred it to be on our own terms. I remember looking at you when we finally told your parents we were pregnant. You looked so devastated and I felt responsible and I thought you didn't want to marry me. I was crushed by everything. Our lives changed the moment we found out we were pregnant. I wouldn't change anything now, but I did then. I felt you resented me. The wedding was not the way you would have naturally done things because we had to rush and I know that you don't know that I know this, but I know that on our wedding day you had morning sickness and you didn't think you were going to be able to walk down the aisle. I know your father was terribly disappointed in you and told you so every chance that he got. Sometimes today I still wonder if I ruined your life in that moment that we made love for the first time." Frank says honestly.

"Who told you that I'd had morning sickness on our wedding day? I was scared when we got married. I wasn't ready to be a wife; I wasn't ready to be a mother. I just wasn't ready for any of it. I was devastated when we told my parents that we were pregnant. My father called me a slut. What did you expect? I did want to marry you. I loved you then and I love you now even though you don't make it easy for me to love you. I was overwhelmed by everything that happened to us then, but I wouldn't change it. It brought us together faster than any other moment could have. I never resented you, but I felt very foolish for doing what we'd done. And, you're right, I wouldn't have had our wedding that way if I'd had an option but, I wouldn't change it now. Our wedding was beautiful and intimate, just the way it was. You didn't ruin my life. You gave me the most precious gift on the planet: children, and I know you think I would change things if I could, but maybe if things had been different we wouldn't have Robert and Raymond and they are the most important thing we got out of this. I love you, Frank." Marie says as she leans towards him.

"You don't hold anything against me about the way this all started? You're a better person than I am. If I were you I'd hate me." Frank says as he slowly slips his arms around Marie.

"Maybe there was a little divine intervention to make you propose because, if I remember rightly, you were taking an awfully long time getting around to that. Maybe it made us both think about how precious our freedom at that time was. Yes, we grew up probably faster than most of our friends did, but our sons are great and compared to my father you were phenomenal." Marie says resting her head on Frank's chest.

"I never told you about my dad, did I? I probably should have." Frank asks quietly. "There's a reason for everything I do though I don't always tell anyone my reasons until after. My father was brutal. Do you remember asking me about the bruises I had on my arms and face when you saw me and I said that they were from getting in fights at school? They weren't. The bruises I had were from my father beating me with everything and anything on hand. I never told anyone. I think most of my teachers probably knew, but it wasn't as big a deal then. The first people I told were my sons when we pretended to go to therapy sessions. I swore when I found out that you were pregnant that I was not going to be like my father. That my sons would never be afraid of me even if sometimes I felt like they should be. I swore that I would never leave a mark on my kids even if it were an Indian rope burn. I didn't ever want to be seen to be like my dad. I never told you my promises because I knew I would have to explain, but I kept every promise. I had to."

"Oh Frank, you never said a word. Is that what you lived with until we got married? I wondered about the fact that you got so many bruises and seemed to be in so many fights, but I never really questioned it. I'm glad you decided not to be like your dad. If he was like that with you why did he like me so much?" Marie asks. His father sounded like the type of person that didn't like anyone or anything.

"I have no idea why he took such a shine to you. I never did figure that part out. Maybe he liked you because you were non-threatening to him. You were trying to get him to like you because we were trying to regain some trust from our parents. It's funny though, your parents never took a shine to me. The worst beating I ever got from him was the day I told him you were pregnant. He didn't think I deserved to be a father. He didn't think I deserved you either come to think of it. Are you ready to come home now?" Frank asks as he holds his wife close. Everything he does is to reassure Marie that he loves her.

"Alright Frank, let's go home. Are you willing to talk to me more about the past? Now I almost feel as if I don't know you like I thought I did." Marie asks as they stand up and walk out the front door hand in hand.


End file.
